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Ebook The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen

Ebook The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen

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The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen

The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen


The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen


Ebook The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen

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The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport, by Carl Hiaasen

From Publishers Weekly

Hiaasen (Skinny Dip), an admittedly woeful golfer, recounts his clumsy resumption of the game after a 32-year layoff. Why did he take up golf so long after quitting at the age of 20? I'm one sick bastard, he writes. Hiaasen interweaves passages about his return to the game with diary entries covering more than a year and a half on the links. He mixes childhood memories of playing with his father, who died prematurely, with anecdotes, including the time he and a friend ejected an invasion of poisonous toads from his friend's patio with short irons. His analysis of his lessons, hapless rounds and gimmicky golf equipment is hilarious, and his vivid descriptions are vintage Hiaasen, such as golf balls that are designed to run like a scalded gerbil. Hiaasen also touches on topics he writes about in his novels and newspaper columns, lamenting the overdevelopment of Florida and skewering crooked politicians and lobbyists prone to lavish golf junkets. He finishes his journey with a detailed round-by-round account of his pitiful play in a member-guest tournament on his home course (his discouragement is cheered, however, when his wife and young son joyfully take up the game). With the satirically skilled Hiaasen, who rarely breaks 90 on the links, this narrative is an enjoyable ride. (May) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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From Booklist

“In the summer of 2005, I returned to golf after a much-needed layoff of thirty-two years.” Any golfer knows that those words are a prescription for disaster. And any fiction reader knows that if it’s Carl Hiaasen speaking, the disaster will be not just disastrous but also hysterically, sublimely, surreally funny. And so it is, as recounted in diary form by the fiftysomething Hiaasen, whose gimpy knees and loopy swing consistently undercut the score-lowering results promised by the high-tech gimcracks and expensive clubs he gamely employs in the ongoing search for that elusive breakthrough. What makes Hiaasen’s 577-day diary of hopes denied and dreams deferred so appealing is its everyman aspect: average golfers have a lifetime of frustrations to match Hiaasen’s telescoped experience, and if we don’t have a cadre of famous kibitzers like writer Mike Lupica and golf broadcaster David Feherty to alternately ridicule and support our efforts, we do have our own inner demons, consistently overruling our attempts at positive thinking. Hiaasen, turning serious for a moment while watching his young son pounding away on the driving range, muses, “I believe this is how you’re supposed to feel with a golf club in your hands: Full of heart and free of mind.” Unfortunately, his painfully truthful account reveals all too clearly that “constricted of heart and tangled of mind” more accurately describes what most of us feel as we prepare to swing. --Bill Ott

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Product details

Hardcover: 224 pages

Publisher: Knopf; 1 edition (May 6, 2008)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9780307266538

ISBN-13: 978-0307266538

ASIN: 0307266532

Product Dimensions:

5.2 x 1 x 7.8 inches

Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

3.9 out of 5 stars

174 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#575,411 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I have been a fan of Carl Hiasson for many years, having read at least 5 of his previous books. As a golfer, I had this on my "must read" list. When it come up on my ladies' league book club list, I had extra motivation to read it through. It was classic Hiasson style for about the first half. Thereafter, however, it failed to carry the day. Reading shot-by-shot, hole-by-hole, detailed accounts of his game became tiresome at that point. Further, topics addressed in the first half were raised time and time again in the second half, to the extent that it became beyond tiresome to irksome. When it came time for the book club session, I found I was not alone in my disappointment in this effort to take a humorous perspective to the game. I believe Hiasson grew weary of his obligation to complete the book and simply continued on and on and on and on and on....

I'm not even a golfer, but I am a huge Hiaasen fan. And I found this book to be both absolutely Hiaasen and very humorous. This is a good read for anyone looking for a reading escape. Not only that, it was a very loving memoir and tribute to Hiaasen's father.

This is a journal of a disastrous year in which Carl Hiaasen returned to golf after a 30 year absence. While most people would simply get frustrated, swear loudly and throw their clubs in the water, Hiaasen gets frustrated, swears loudly (and ever more inventively), throws his clubs in the water, and then goes home and writes it all down. I was pretty much laughing nonstop throughout the entire book.Hiaasen may not be a great (or even very good) golfer, but he has the lingo down pat and it is fun to read. Don't let that stop you if you are not a golfer. I cued up a dictionary of golf terms on my iPad and toggled between the book and dictionary as I read. Perfect!Read this book. You will never look at golf the same way again. You will probably never take it up again, but that is another story . . .

Mr. Hiaasen is a very funny guy and there are some wonderful anecdotes to be found in this book. But many of the stories involve scenes unable to be appreciated by someone who's never been on the links. The author's countless reports of "shanking this or hooking that" eventually become tedious. Being a fan of Mr. Hiaasen's fiction and newspaper columns and, also, an ex-golfer of over twenty years, I still had difficulty finishing the last twenty pages due to boredom. Reading about how he messed up on numerous plays during the climax of the book was like listening to a senile, old uncle prattle on about his golf games of yore. A quick read with a smidgen of Mr. Hiaasen's trademark acerbic political commentary. Not as entertaining as his fiction books.

If you are looking for a great Christmas present for the golfers on your list, The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport by Carl Hiaasen is the perfect gift. Hiaasen takes the same skills he uses to write his zany mysteries to produce this hysterical look at his return to golfing after a 30-year hiatus.Carl Hiaasen's dad was a fairly good golfer, and he taught the sport to his son. But unlike dad, Carl was pretty much a duffer. "At my best, I'd shown occasional flashes of competence. At my worst, I'd been a menace to all carbon-based life-forms on the golf course." As a young adult, he decided to stop torturing himself and gave up playing. But 32 years later, his friends convince him to pick up some clubs and start playing again. Hiaasen also has a secret desire to become a better golfer in his 50s than he was in his youth. He decides to keep a journal along the way. What results is a truly funny look at not just golf, but getting older and our physical shortcomings.Hiaasen takes lessons and then takes more lessons. He starts with a used set of clubs, and then purchases new ones. He also keeps buying putters and drivers. When one starts failing him, he ditches the offender in his locker and gets something new. He has a Ping putter that "has so many peculiar curves and sharp angles that it's impossible to get it clean with a golf towel. I need to take the blasted thing to a car wash and have it detailed." The author also purchases almost every item offered to help golfers improve their game (none of them work) and reads dozens and dozens of golf magazines and books (they don't help much, either).Hiaasen's golf swing is entertaining by itself. He calls himself "a male Sybil in spikes" and compares his swing to an "ax murderer." But there is so much more to laugh at. At one course, he manages to sink his golf cart (he claims the brakes were faulty). At home, he uses one of his clubs to kill rats. And when his wife decides to take lessons, she wants to wear flip-flips so that she doesn't get a tan line on her ankles. The Downhill Lie really had me chuckling. When he finds out that Donald Trump can drive a golf ball 310 yards, Hiaasen comforted himself "with a petty vision of the cocksure billionaire trying to tee off in 25-knot gusts, his famously surreal hair torqued into cotton candy."There is also a little of the environmental activist that we see in his mysteries. "Golf was not meant to be played in the shadow of a high-rise; that high rises don't belong on the banks of an estuary; and that whoever is responsible for such abominations should be pounded to a permanently infertile condition with a 60-degree lob wedge."Whether or not you play golf, The Downhill Lie is a fun read--especially if you are a Hiaasen fan.

This is not one of Hiaasen's bazaar south Florida adventures. Instead, it chronicles his return to golf after a 30 year hiatus. For anyone familiar with the game, it is a painfully hilarious documentation of his hopes and disillusionments to be a good golfer as he makes his way around the 18 stages of hell. For those that don't pick up a flailing stick themselves, there are still a lot of life lessons, presented in a way that you don't realize because you're too busy chuckling. Some of it is more predictable and / or repetitive than any of his novels, but then, he's talking about his real life, on real golf course, in real distress; and it's pretty darn funny.

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